I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she smelled like a LAN party
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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