This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
