were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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