It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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