If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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