I wannas sexs uuuuu
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
