I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
