Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
