You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
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