it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Randomize
