Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Houston, we have a blender
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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