i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
