I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
