She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
