physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We need a shit load of segways right now
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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