I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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