but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
