We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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