Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
