two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
