I am puke
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize