Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
