Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
