So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Can you bring me the toilet please
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
