he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
