when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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