Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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