no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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