So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
