I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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