I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize