Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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