At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This is classic penis vs brain.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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