he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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