my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My life is pants optional.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
