i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
