I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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