I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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