you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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