is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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