he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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