i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
