We named our party play list daddy issues
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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