you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If I die, sorry about rent.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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