Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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