i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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