Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
