Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
3pm strippers are depressing
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
