yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
