I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize