Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you will always have a special place in my vag
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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