Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize