Porn is love you can see.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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