he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize