pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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