Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
