I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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