so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize