i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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