You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
