You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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