I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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