its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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